Stand up for yourself, set boundaries, don’t let your friends take advantage of you.  Wow, that’s a lot to ask of a teen!

It seems like it’s a lot to ask of an adult. Look around you, how many adults tell their friends, their bosses or anyone that is acting inappropriately, “that’s not acceptable”!  I am in a circle of pretty conscious people and most of them have difficulties setting boundaries. When most adults have to make a decision to confront someone who has done something to them that they don’t appreciate, it takes a lot for them to talk to the person. Some people actually get sick to their stomach, and have extreme anxiety about it.

So why do we act like our teen should be able to handle this easier.  It is most often harder for a teen to confront another teen or worse yet an adult about something they have done that he or she is not good with.  It is tougher for a teen to make sense of what has happened and why it feels off.  This happens to adults also, but with teens they can’t usually figure out how to confront without being ousted by their peers or not respected by an adult.

So how can we help or teens and our self to confront with ease?  For me it is easier just knowing that if I confront I am taking care of myself, and usually if it’s good for me it’s always a gift for the other person in learning more about themselves, if they are willing. Also if I look at what it is they are doing and why it is triggering me, that helps me learn about myself. It helps me take the blame off of them and realize it’s just another lesson to learn.

For teens it’s important for the parent to have compassion for what they are feeling around it, understand their feelings, and their hurt, step into their reality.

Help your teenager get in touch with their feelings around the situation, ask them questions like “how did you feel when she did that to you” or “why do you think she is acting like that”, also ask her if she feels the hurt anywhere in her body. Sometimes there will be physical symptoms. Asking questions helps them get in touch with how they are feeling, and why and make sense of the situation.

Help your teen put together a plan of what they might say to the person acting inappropriate.  Also help them understand why the other person might be acting this way; so that your teen can have compassion for them, this really helps with easing the anger.

These are also good tips for adults to use when they are having difficulties with confronting.  I have become really good at confronting people in a loving way because what I noticed was, when I didn’t confront I got sick to my stomach and would lose sleep over it. I bet if you thought about it, you would realize that it is more painful not to confront than to confront. So stand up for yourself, start setting healthy boundaries, and confront in a loving way.  Let me how you feel when you do or don’t confront.

Bullying, this seems to be a very hot topic in the school system today.  Who are these bullies?  Where are they? Why do they bully?

Bullies can be anyone, any age, any size, and any color.  Bullying is in the school system, the adult work environment, it’s everywhere.

People bully because they don’t feel good about themselves, they have low self-esteem.  Someone threatens them some how and they go into reaction mode. How can someone become threaten, is it because of insecurities. Someone at school is better at something, or they think someone is prettier, more popular, someone gets a promotion, and it goes on and on. If they feel threatened by someone else, they react, and sometimes their reactions are very mean.   They are not conscious of how mean they really are. I don’t believe that if people knew they were mean people, that they would continue behaving that way.

I was just having a conversation with a friend this week regarding her daughter in high school that was being bullied. It started out with one girl treating her poorly, and then within 2 months had escalated to 13 girls.  This girl that was being bullied is such a sweet gal, and doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, a perfect victim for bullies.  She had lost her appetite; she wasn’t sleeping much, and was having such anxiety. It is such a shame, the grief that these bullies caused this girl. The mother decided to pull her daughter out of the school she was in and put her in another one.

This decision proved to be a good one; it immediately has made a difference in her behavior. It’s hard to know what is right for each person. If you are being bullied, first there is no easy solution, talk to someone about it and come up with a game plan. Don’t let it get out of hand. If you’re a bully start to look at your behavior.  When something triggers you, do you lash out at people? If so, start to look at why and what causes this behavior.

Wake up to your actions, stop spreading harm in the world, stop participating in the negative influences.  Start aiding in the healing of the planet and peoples soul. Really start paying attention to your behavior and how you affect others.

Let me know if you have been bullied or been a bully at some point in your life and how this has affected you.

My body is always trying to teach me lessons, that honestly sometimes I just don’t want to hear.  It seems that I am constantly hearing from my body. “I have an ache here, my allergies are up, I have an ache there”.

I am usually trying to escape the feeling of pain or discomfort. The key word in that sentence is escape. I was taught a while back that escaping the pain  was not the answer, that going into the pain was. WOW! Who wants to move into something that feels so bad?

Well, I have done it in my past and what I have found out about myself is that I will do almost anything to avoid the pain.  So, when I feel the pain instead of trying to get away from it, like taking an aspirin, it’s best for me to close my eyes, feel the pain and ask myself what is my body trying to tell me.

With this last episode in the hospital, what was my Colon trying to tell me? I get it, to slow down, relax, stop worrying, and that everything is going to be alright. That Colon of mine is one smart cookie.

So, instead of running from our pain, try moving into it and asking it “what is it you are trying to tell me”?  The lessons are big and pretty loud for us to hear.

If we choose to listen!

Well, Sorry I haven’t Blogged in a week, but I was in the hospital…Yuk!

Friday night I got a big oh pain in my right side and Saturday morning went to the emergency room, thinking I had appendicitis. They ran a bunch of test and found a very inflamed colon.

How could this be, I eat all the right foods, and even take supplements for inflammation, and stomach care. None of it made any sense at all.

Then I did a bit of reading and found out that it could possibly be STRESS. Well, looking at the life I have created and what I have put on my plate, it didn’t surprise me. I decided to get my book out and read the chapter on Stress Reduction. It’s right there in my own words:

“Stress can do quite a bit of harm to your body and you emotional health”.

No kidding! I was shocked, even though I have read about stress and at some level participated in its unruly actions, nothing like what I experienced with my poor inflamed colon.

I knew it could be destructive to our bodies and emotional health, because of what I have read; now I know it first hand.

I am slowly removing things off my plate, getting things done on my time. I’m kicking off the things that have caused me grief and aren’t worth having on my plate in the first place.

I have started meditating again; this slows me down and starts my morning out with the intentions I want to set for the day. Check out Sarah Mcleans website on meditation Sedona Meditation Training

Check in with yourself and make sure your plate isn’t so full you can’t carry it anymore. Do you have feelings of anxiety? How is your sleeping? Are you having any aches or pains that are unusual? Just check in before the stress does any damage.