Ideas For Girls On Developing Relationships With Boys
I was going to say Teens are dating at a much earlier age than even 7 years ago, but I realized that dating is an outdated word and action. Teens don’t date anymore, they hook up! They hang out and become boyfriend and girlfriend. Even though the times have changed in how teens get together, there are still important issues to be aware of with being in a relationship with a boy, if it’s healthy or not.
My first suggestion is to write a list of important qualities that you want in a relationship or partner. I have all the girls I mentor, no matter what age they are create this list. So let me show you what a list might look like. Include even the little things, like same hobbies or interests.
- Caring
- Communicative
- Honest
- Affectionate
- Giving
- Humorous
- Loves life
- Fun
- Cares about his health
- Confident
- Friendly
- Treats me and others well
- Likes to dance
- Likes hiking
- Shares his feelings
- Doesn’t drink or do drugs
- Cares about his future
So, do you get the picture? Make the list as long as you need to, to be a complete list for you. Now circle the list items that are negotiable, things that if they don’t have these qualities it would be okay.
Every time you are hanging out with a guy and getting to know him, refer to your list. If he is exhibiting something on the list that is the opposite like; he is a snob and treats others poorly, well; you know you can’t be in a relationship with him, right?
Right? Don’t think your going to change him, move on to find a relationship with someone that has the qualities you want, not someone you have to change to be that person. People don’t change usually for other people.
If you keep spending time with guys that are not what you want, you keep the door closed to spending time with the guys you want to be with. So just be friends with the guys that don’t have the qualities you are looking and keep that door open to bringing in a guy that has the qualities you want.
A few of girls I mentor stay in relationships with guys that they should not be in relationship with thinking that they can change them. Look at your behavior around this because this means you have self-esteem issues to work on. You might not think that you are worthy of someone treating you well and you getting what you want in a relationship. If this is the case let’s start working on you and your sense of self now, so you can have good relationship.
Let me know how your list is coming and if this has helped at all. We all deserve good relationships and people in our lives that show up for us and love us.
Tags: communicate, confidence, disrespectful teens, love yourself, teenage self-esteem