There are a ton of reasons why we have low self esteem, and when I say we I mean all of us.  I have never met a teen or an adult with high self esteem.  The only people I have met with high self esteem are little people below the ages of 5-years-old.  Something happens to us when we start going to school, this is where the judgments start and we get put down for being ourselves.  This is also the time when parents start possibly pushing their kids to be a certain way also.

Have you noticed how little kids behave?  They sing and dance in front of everyone and could care less what they think.  They don’t care if they have good voices, if they have been professional trained in dance, they just sing and dance.  As adults we are looking outside ourselves for validation if we are good or bad.  My oldest daughter is great about this, if someone says can you sing, can you dance, she says absolutely.  She dances and sings and doesn’t care if it looks or sounds good. I love that, it’s so childlike.   Check out this video, it’s the best.

The goal here is to stay childlike, in our adulthood.  Why do we care what others think?  Why because we have grown up thinking that the barometer is outside of ourselves instead of inside.  Why would we trust someone else to tell us we are good at something instead of listening to ourselves.  Also who is the judge of what is good and what is bad.  Am I pretty?  Am I ugly?  Is my voice good or is it bad?  Are my clothes okay? Who or what tells us we are okay or not?  And more importantly, why are we listening.

I give you a challenge this week to do things that might make you look ridiculous, because if you are being ridiculous, you are probably being childlike.  Really push yourself, wear something that you would want to wear but you think people might judge you for it.  Sing in front of your family or dance.  See how they react.  Our self esteem is lacking because we aren’t looking at our essence, we are looking at ourselves through the eyes of others.  Try doing something different this week.  Step out there and be the real you and let go of the judgments that might come in, like they don’t matter…because they don’t matter.  Good luck and let me know how it feels.

I loved this article from my Doctor,  Dr. Alan Christianson in Scottsdale.  I will be sharing health articles from time to time because it is totally connected to feeling good about yourself, therefore having good self-esteem. Enjoy it and tell me what you think about it.

Aerobic means ‘with oxygen’.  Animals are chemically distinct from plants in that we burn our fuel with oxygen and liberate a lot more energy than chemical pathways that don’t use oxygen.  This gives us power to think and move.  Your brain uses 20% of your energy.  I’m sure you can think of someone who might be using closer to 5%, but really, most brains use 20%.

What does it mean when you are tired and sluggish during the day?  Chemically it means you are not able to generate ATP (your cell’s energy) within your cells at the rate at which you’re burning it. Your body wants to rest and slow down.  How do you get better at producing ATP?  You incrementally challenge your system and let your body adapt.  Your body is amazing at adaption.  Whatever we ask of it, it will accommodate. The most efficient way to challenge your energy production pathways is through aerobic exercise.  Run, walk fast, bike, swim, work out on an aerobic machine, anything – just move a little faster for a little longer than you normally do. If this is tiring, rest up a day and try it again. It’ll get easier, I promise.  You’ll go farther and faster plus be able to shorten the rest periods between aerobic exercises.  And, non-exercise tasks will also get easier.  Your brain will be sharper, you’ll move easier and be less tired during the day.

Think you’re tired because you’re old? It’s not true. The only type of AGEing that really slows you down is if you Aren’t Getting Exercise.

Just a few weeks ago an article in the British Journal of Sports Medicine showed that regular exercise could delay the effects of aging by 12 years!  Senior athletes maintain 90% of their capacity into their 80′s and beyond.  In their sports they are universally superior to sedentary 30-year-old office workers.

Before going out for that jog, here are a few myths I hope to put to rest:

Myth:  I’m too tired; exercising will use up all my energy.
Fact: Give yourself a chance and advance slowly.  You’ll be more energetic for having done some aerobic work.  And, within a short time, you’ll actually come to enjoy it! Commit to getting dressed and out the door to do at least 5 minutes each day.  That’s not too tough.  If you’re still not into it after those 5 minutes, throw in the towel.  But 9 times out of 10 you’ll get into the flow and have fun.

Myth: Lower intensity workouts burn more fat.
Fact:  No, they don’t.  It’s true you burn a slightly higher percentage of calories from fat at low intensity, say 6% vs. 5% at high intensity, but you burn so fewer calories it’s not helpful. For example, say at low intensity you burn 200 calories which 6% are from fat, this equals 12 fat calories burned. For the same amount of time at a high intensity you’re burning 500 calories!  So, even though you may only burn 5% from fat, that’s 25 fat calories!

Myth: If I go to the gym and train hard every day I’ll lose weight.
Fact:  Maybe, but weight loss does take counting calories… calories from HEALTHY foods that is! You know that 500 calories you burned in the high intensity workout above? Without discipline you can blow that at the Starbucks on the way home.

Myth: 20 minutes 2-3 times per week is enough exercise.
Fact:  Well, it’s enough to start or help you get into the swing of exercising, but you’ll get more benefits and gain more energy if you move towards exercising most days of the week at 45-60 minutes each time for an average of 6 hours per week.

Myth: I don’t have that kind of time. Why bother?
Fact:  The average American adult watches TV 29-34 hours per week! If you can’t reduce that time by a few hours, set up a treadmill or exercise bike in front of the TV and have at it.

Myth: I don’t need aerobics as much since I lift weights.
Fact:  Strength training is great, but its maximum benefits for longevity, weight loss and health occur with one session per body part per week. Some papers have suggested even just 1 set may provide this. Aerobics are a wiser expenditure of most of your exercise time.

Myth: I need a sports drink for exercise.
Fact:  If you’re going at it hard for over 90 minutes, OK, otherwise drink water and save the calories for something better.

So get out and generate some ATP, you’ll feel great!

Dr. Alan Christianson, NMD, is founder and President of Integrative Health Clinic in Scottsdale, AZ.  Integrative Health offers a fresh approach to living well by using a novel formula for science-based natural medicine.  The team of physicians discovers the cause of each patient’s troubling symptoms and protects their long-term health and quality of life.

Dr. Christianson’s primary focus is diagnosing hidden cases of thyroid disease and assisting those already diagnosed to resolve hypothyroid symptoms including weight gain, fatigue and hair loss.

Currently, he is co-authoring ‘The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Thyroid’, for Penguin publishers, due for publication in mid-2011.

He can be reached at 480.657.0003 or www.IntegrativeHealthCare.com

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I received an E-mail from a 17-year-old teen the other day and it was such a classic case of how important it is for girls to have self-esteem, that I really wanted to share it with you. Girls are bombarded with images of how bodies are supposed to look everywhere they turn, including from the guys they talk to.

This seems like such a small incident, but it’s very big and real for girls. Hopefully this will help you with situations coming up with your daughters and more importantly your sons. We can work on helping our girls have self-esteem, but the other side to this is teaching our sons to have respect for girls and what this looks like.

Here is the letter first from Mark, then my response, and his apology and her response. I was very impressed with him taking a look at his behavior and then doing the right thing. See what you think.

My name is Mark and I’m 17 years old.  I discovered your website and thought you might have some good insight on an experience I had involving a girl’s image of her body. She was a girl I had just met at a dance a few weeks ago.  We talked for a good half hour and seemed to be hitting it off. Then, things suddenly went downhill.  I commented that she had a “really nice, hourglass figure”. I thought she would take it as a compliment but instead she became deeply offended.  I went into damage control mode and tried to clarify my comments but I think I only made things worse when I used the term “healthy”. With a look of complete disgust, WHAP!, she slapped my face and departed.

She had a classic hourglass figure – large bust, narrow waist, shapely hips/legs. I guess she had interpreted “hourglass” as meaning big/overweight/full figured. Why can’t girls embrace their curves?

–Mark

Hi Mark,

I can see where your confusion comes in with girls and thier bodies.  Unfortunately girls are comparing themselves to girls in the media, the girls on TV, magazines, and models etc.  I’m not saying this is a good thing, it’s just the way it is.What girls want to know is that you like them the way they are. Next time when you are complimenting girl, stay away from descriptions of the body. You can say “You look great” “I like the way you look”. Just the mere description of the body brings attention to how the body is supposed to look. Even if you are commenting on a part of the body you like, it makes girls feel uncomfortable.  If you had been dating her awhile and she made a comment on being overweight, and you were to say “I like your hourglass figure”, it’s saying she isn’t thin and in her mind it’s just another word for overweight.  If you were to say “I like your body just the way it is and I don’t think you’re overweight”. It is more reassuring.

This is the very reason I work with girls on loving themselves from the inside out, because what really matters is who we are on the inside, not what our bodies look like.  We need good guys in our lives letting us know that we are perfect just the way we are.  Thank you for your comment, I think a lot of guys feel the same confusion as you did. Thanks again, Debra

(Mark’s letter to the girl)

Dear Cheryl,

This is Mark. We met a few weeks ago.  I genuinely meant to compliment you, but in so doing used a poor choice of words that deeply offended you. I am so sorry for any hurt I may have caused you. You are a really intelligent girl and I have great respect for you. You are also very beautiful.  While I meant to compliment you, it was inappropriate for me to comment on your physical appearance after meeting you for the first time.

I hope you choose to accept my apology, but if not, I sincerely wish you the best in life and I am still grateful for having met you.

Mark

(Her response back to him)

Mark. Gosh, I have such mixed emotions on this. You seemed like such a sweet guy at first and that’s why I was so disappointed when you started commenting on my body and taking the conversation into the gutter.  I had some weight issues when I was younger, so maybe I’m overly sensitive of any comments that hint at being over-weight.  Also, because I’m very curvy, I’ve too often had to deal with boys who look at me primarily in a sexual/physical way. Therefore your comments, as well intentioned as they may have been, were really insulting. It also didn’t help that you kept staring at my chest.  That is something I’m very self-conscious about.

P.S. Regarding the slap across the face….well, I’m an old fashioned girl and I felt it was the most appropriate response for a guy who was being disrespectful to me.  I will say that you conducted yourself as a gentleman by turning the other cheek and then coming back to make a sincere apology. Most boys would be more consumed with their own pride and resentful of the girl who slapped them.
Cheryl

Mark wrote me one last response expressing his thanks and that he felt like he had grown up a lot through the whole experience. He shared the story with his father and his father shared a story with him about when he got slapped by a girl and his learning from it. The entire situation was such a great learning for Mark.

It is our job as parents to talk to our daughters about self-esteem and how not to buy into the media, and as importantly to talk to our sons about what respecting girls actually looks like. Mark had no idea he was being disrespectful by talking about her body. He didn’t even realize he was staring at her chest.

I shared this exchange with you because I am always talking on the side of the girls and this gave me the opportunity to explore what it is like to be on the side of the guys. It actually makes me want to reach out more to them because I know ultimately it will help the young girls I am reaching now.

Let me know if you have had any situations that have helped your young teens learn about themselves in a whole new way.

I was talking with a parent yesterday and we were discussing her concerns with bullying, and how prevalent it is with teens today.  So, this morning I thought that I would write about it.  In the mean time I was looking through my information on bullying and I found this article about Bullying Being A Big Problem by Kids Health and I am excited to see how thorough the information is.

Every time I facilitate a workshop, no matter what the topic is, I always talk to girls about how they treat each other. What’s it is like to be bullied, and what makes a girl be a bully.

I was bullied as a teen for many years, and the despair I would feel every morning before going to school was deep.  The anxiety that I felt daily was unbearable.  When I became a parent of teens myself, I was looking at my behavior to make sure that I wasn’t teaching my girls to be bullies.

As parents we need to look at our actions to see if we are creating bullies.  Every teen has insecurities that can show up in different ways.  It can show up as being very shy or so insecure that they bully. Working on self esteem helps both side of being bullied and being a bully. It’s up to us as parents to see where our teens fall in that spectrum.

Enjoy this article, it is packed full of great information.

Bullying Is a Big Problem

Every day thousands of teens wake up afraid to go to school. Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students, and it has everyone worried, not just the kids on its receiving end. Yet because parents, teachers, and other adults don’t always see it, they may not understand how extreme bullying can get.

Bullying is when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or group with more power, either in terms of physical strength or social standing.

Two of the main reasons people are bullied are because of appearance and social status. Bullies pick on the people they think don’t fit in, maybe because of how they look, how they act (for example, kids who are shy and withdrawn), their race or religion, or because the bullies think their target may be gay or lesbian.

Some bullies attack their targets physically, which can mean anything from shoving or tripping to punching or hitting, or even sexual assault. Others use psychological control or verbal insults to put themselves in charge. For example, people in popular groups or cliques often bully people they categorize as different by excluding them or gossiping about them (psychological bullying). They may also taunt or tease their targets (verbal bullying).

Verbal bullying can also involve sending cruel instant or email messages or even posting insults about a person on a website – practices that are known as cyberbullying.

How Does Bullying Make People Feel?

One of the most painful aspects of bullying is that it is relentless. Most people can take one episode of teasing or name calling or being shunned at the mall. However, when it goes on and on, bullying can put a person in a state of constant fear.

Guys and girls who are bullied may find their schoolwork and health suffering. Amber began having stomach pains and diarrhea and was diagnosed with a digestive condition called irritable bowel syndrome as a result of the stress that came from being bullied throughout ninth grade. Mafooz spent his afternoons hungry and unable to concentrate in class because he was too afraid to go to the school cafeteria at lunchtime.

Studies show that people who are abused by their peers are at risk for mental health problems, such as low self-esteem, stress, depression, or anxiety. They may also think about suicide more.

Bullies are at risk for problems, too. Bullying is violence, and it often leads to more violent behavior as the bully grows up. It’s estimated that 1 out of 4 elementary-school bullies will have a criminal record by the time they are 30. Some teen bullies end up being rejected by their peers and lose friendships as they grow older. Bullies may also fail in school and not have the career or relationship success that other people enjoy.

Who Bullies?

Both guys and girls can be bullies. Bullies may be outgoing and aggressive. Or a bully can appear reserved on the surface, but may try to manipulate people in subtle, deceptive ways, like anonymously starting a damaging rumor just to see what happens.

Many bullies share some common characteristics. They like to dominate others and are generally focused on themselves. They often have poor social skills and poor social judgment. Sometimes they have no feelings of empathy or caring toward other people.

Although most bullies think they’re hot stuff and have the right to push people around, others are actually insecure. They put other people down to make themselves feel more interesting or powerful. And some bullies act the way they do because they’ve been hurt by bullies in the past – maybe even a bullying figure in their own family, like a parent or other adult.

Some bullies actually have personality disorders that don’t allow them to understand normal social emotions like guilt, empathy, compassion, or remorse. These people need help from a mental health professional like a psychiatrist or psychologist.

What Can You Do?

For younger kids, the best way to solve a bullying problem is to tell a trusted adult. For teens, though, the tell-an-adult approach depends on the bullying situation.

One situation in which it is vital to report bullying is if it threatens to lead to physical danger and harm. Numerous high-school students have died when stalking, threats, and attacks went unreported and the silence gave the bully license to become more and more violent.

Sometimes the victim of repeated bullying cannot control the need for revenge and the situation becomes dangerous for everyone.

Adults in positions of authority – parents, teachers, or coaches – can often find ways to resolve dangerous bullying problems without the bully ever learning how they found out about it.

If you’re in a bullying situation that you think may escalate into physical violence, try to avoid being alone (and if you have a friend in this situation, spend as much time as you can together). Try to remain part of a group by walking home at the same time as other people or by sticking close to friends or classmates during the times that the bullying takes place.

Bullying Survival Tips

Here are some things you can do to combat psychological and verbal bullying. They’re also good tips to share with a friend as a way to show your support:

• Ignore the bully and walk away. It’s definitely not a coward’s response – sometimes it can be harder than losing your temper. Bullies thrive on the reaction they get, and if you walk away, or ignore hurtful emails or instant messages, you’re telling the bully that you just don’t care. Sooner or later the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you. Walk tall and hold your head high. Using this type of body language sends a message that you’re not vulnerable.
• Hold the anger. Who doesn’t want to get really upset with a bully? But that’s exactly the response he or she is trying to get. Bullies want to know they have control over your emotions. If you’re in a situation where you have to deal with a bully and you can’t walk away with poise, use humor – it can throw the bully off guard. Work out your anger in another way, such as through exercise or writing it down (make sure you tear up any letters or notes you write in anger).
• Don’t get physical. However you choose to deal with a bully, don’t use physical force (like kicking, hitting, or pushing). Not only are you showing your anger, you can never be sure what the bully will do in response. You are more likely to be hurt and get in to trouble if you use violence against a bully. You can stand up for yourself in other ways, such as gaining control of the situation by walking away or by being assertive in your actions. Some adults believe that bullying is a part of growing up (even that it is character building) and that hitting back is the only way to tackle the problem. But that’s not the case. Aggressive responses tend to lead to more violence and more bullying for the victims.
• Practice confidence. Practice ways to respond to the bully verbally or through your behavior. Practice feeling good about yourself (even if you have to fake it at first).
• Take charge of your life. You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can stay true to yourself. Think about ways to feel your best – and your strongest – so that other kids may give up the teasing. Exercise is one way to feel strong and powerful. (It’s a great mood lifter, too!) Learn a martial art or take a class like yoga. Another way to gain confidence is to hone your skills in something like chess, art, music, computers, or writing. Joining a class, club, or gym is a great way to make new friends and feel great about yourself. The confidence you gain will help you ignore the mean kids.
• Talk about it. It may help to talk to a guidance counselor, teacher, or friend – anyone who can give you the support you need. Talking can be a good outlet for the fears and frustrations that can build when you’re being bullied.

Find your (true) friends. If you’ve been bullied with rumors or gossip, all of the above tips (especially ignoring and not reacting) can apply. But take it one step further to help ease feelings of hurt and isolation. Find one or two true friends and confide how the gossip has hurt your feelings. Set the record straight by telling your friends quietly and confidently what’s true and not true about you. Hearing a friend say, “I know the rumor’s not true. I didn’t pay attention to it,” can help you realize that most of the time people see gossip for what it is – petty, rude, and immature.

What if You’re the Big Bully

All of us have to deal with a lot of difficult situations and emotions. For some people, when they’re feeling stressed, angry, or frustrated, picking on someone else can be a quick escape – it takes the attention away from them and their problems. Some bullies learn from firsthand experience. Perhaps name-calling, putdowns, or physical force are the norms in their families. Whatever the reason, though, it’s no excuse for being the bully.

If you find it hard to resist the temptation to bully, you might want to talk with someone you look up to. Try to think about how others feel when you tease or hurt them. If you have trouble figuring this out (many people who bully do), you might ask someone else to help you think of the other person’s side.

Bullying behavior backfires and makes everyone feel miserable – even the bullies. People might feel intimidated by bullies, but they don’t respect them. If you would rather that people see your strength and character – even look up to you as a leader – find a way to use your power for something positive rather than to put others down.

Do you really want people to think of you as unkind, abusive, and mean? It’s never too late to change, although changing a pattern of bullying might seem difficult at first. Ask an adult you respect for some mentoring or coaching on how you could change.

Steps To Stop Bullying in School

If the environment at your school supports bullying, working to change it can help. For example, there may be areas where bullies harass people, such as in stairwells or courtyards that are unobserved by staff. Because a lot of bullying takes part in the presence of peers (the bully wants to be recognized and feel powerful, after all), enlisting the help of friends or a group is a good way to change the culture and stand up to bullies.

You can try to talk to the bully. If you don’t feel comfortable in a face-to-face discussion, leave a note in the bully’s locker. Try to point out that his or her behavior is serious and harmful. This can work well in group situations, such as if you notice that a member of your group has started to pick on or shun another member.

Most people hesitate to speak out because it can be hard. It takes confidence to stand up to a bully – especially if he or she is one of the established group leaders. But chances are the other students witnessing the bullying behavior feel as uncomfortable as you do. They may just not be speaking up. Perhaps they feel that they’re not popular enough to take a stand or worry that they’re vulnerable and the bully will turn on them. Staying quiet (even though they don’t like the bully’s behavior) is a way to distance themselves from the person who is the target.

When a group of people keeps quiet like this, the bully’s reach is extending beyond just one person. He or she is managing to intimidate lots of people. But when one person speaks out against a bully, the reverse happens. It gives others license to add their support and take a stand, too.

Another way to combat bullying is to join your school’s anti-violence program or, if your school doesn’t have one, to start one of your own.

I’m always finding great information on the Web and here is something I found from another great parenting site The Blog of P.U.R.E. by Sue Scheff.  We are all working together to give parents and teens the tools they need to live a healthier happier life.

The site is BodiMojo, a site that promotes Health/Nutrition/Fitness for teens. Developed by teens themselves and experts. BodiMojo believes the future of health resides within our ability to provide behavioral motivation and incentives in an increasingly mobile and consumer-oriented world.

Health can be fun, and it can be habit forming.

Teens told us what they want and we listened.  Watch us play: BodiMojo will include music, interactive tools, games, videos, community building, contest, original content, social networking modules, and customized user pages for teens.  And plug us in-BodiMojo will also offer users new technology for fitness tracking and mobile motivation.

The BodiMojo philosophy is simple: Health can be cool

Nutritional experts, health professionals, and fitness gurus – along with our teens participants – will develop articles, information, graphics, videos, newsletters, interactive features and more.

The current site provides information and updates on the development of the full BodiMojo Web site as well as receive original content submissions form teens.  Keep an eye on BodiMojo and our upcoming Virtual User’s Group, Blog, Contests and News.  BodiMojo will launch in 2009.

…a body in motion tends to stay in motion.

BodiMojo will also be partnering with game developers, musicians, technologists, producers, athletes, writers, artists and business people interested in participating in BodiMojo’s mission. Contact us at partners@bodimojo.com.

Let me know what you think of the site, I thinks it’s going to be a great way for teens to be fit and healthy.

This issue about body image is always up for teens I talk to and for myself.  It seems like it is one of the toughest issues to overcome.  Even when I am talking with grown women, it comes up.  I just wanted to post this video for you to watch and the stats regarding body image, it’s amazing.

The more secure we become with who we are, the more comfortable we will be with our bodies.  The more we will appreciate ourselves for who we are.  Here are 10 tips for loving your body:

1.  Appreciate your body for what it does for you. Just your feet alone, they have a tough job.
2. Write done what you like about yourself and view it often.
3.  Catch yourself when saying negative things about your body and say “Cancel” and back it up with something positive.
4.  Don’t buy into the media, its not realistic.
5.  Make sure you see the things in you, you want others to see in you….”That you are a good person”
6.  Catch your judgments of others, realizing that if you are judging others, you are judging yourself.
7.  Dress in clothing that you like, and that looks good on your body, don’t be to hung up on what is in style.
8.  Do nice things that make your body feel good: give yourself a pedicure, take a bubble bath, hug the parts that bother you
and tell them you love them.
9.  Hang around people that respect you and have good things to say about you.
10. Know that beauty comes from the inside out, and what makes you Shine is who you are, not what you look like.

When I saw and read the article in Us Magazine this month about Jennifer Love Hewitt on losing 18 LBS in ten weeks, my first thought was “I thought weight didn’t matter”.

I know she states in the article that she didn’t lose the weight because of the rude and mean comments, so my questions to her is why go on the cover of Us Magazine and make it such a HUGE deal that you lost 18 LBS, why make it so public?

Lose the weight, be happy, and run your marathon. Don’t make such a production out of losing weight, it sends the wrong message to our teens. Every time a teen see a cover like this one on a popular magazine, it screams “if you looked like I did you need to lose weight.

80% of women feel badly about their bodies, and most women and teens have an immediate reaction to seeing someone on the cover of a magazine showing off their body. The reaction is usually I’m not good enough.

80% of women report that images of women on TV, fashion magazines, and advertising make them feel insecure about their looks.

So I don’t know if Jennifer Love Hewitt thought she was doing our youth a favor, she might want to rethink it. Any image of a women that is showing her slim body with a smiling face, and heavier body with an unhappy face is sending a message that thin is better.

The media is bombarding our youth on all levels, mostly about our bodies not being thin enough.

Talk to your teen about how this makes her feel, and let her know that she is great the way she is and that most of the images in magazines aren’t real. What’s real is the essence of who we are.

Here is a video about how the media is affecting our teenage girls and yes us too. Let me know what you think about it.

Today I am 51 years young, and feeling pretty good in my body all-in-all. A few aches here and there that I presume are normal, considering I have been walking around in this body for 51 years.

It has brought me to a place of looking at my body a bit differently. I have been learning to love my body all of my life, it has been a life long journey. I believe that this is why teenage girls relate to me so well. It is because I can truly understand their hand ups when it comes to their bodies, because it is something I work on everyday.

My body has changed a lot through out the years, but probably more in the last 3 years. I woke up today greeted by a wonderful man telling me Happy Birthday, a man that loves me unconditionally. As I went through the morning to prepare to be with a group of amazing women for the day to swim at the creek, I was looking at my body and realized that even though it is a bit larger than it used to be, and a bit flabbier, I had a new awareness of my love for it. I believe it was also connected to my awareness of how much I have grown throughout these amazing years in this exact body.

Our bodies are only the vehicle that allows us to get around and do the things we need and want to do. I am in gratitude for what a wonderful working vehicle it has been for me. It is so important to be thankful for our bodies, they work hard for us. Thank your body today for being so good to you, for showing up everyday to do the things you ask of it, and love it for exactly what it looks like.

Negative Body Image isn’t just running rapid with teenage girls it’s weighing heavy on all young woman. Everywhere you turn the media is talking about women’s bodies and how they are suppose to look. 

I can’t remember ever liking my body.

My poor body, the judgment it must feel.  “You’re not skinny enough, you’re not tone enough, not tall enough, not shapely enough, you’re stomach is poochy”.  Hearing these words every time I walk by a mirror, trying on cloths, looking at the models in magazines, it’s enough to make my body want to run and hide. Run and hide away from me, because I am the one with all of the judgments. It appears as if the judgments are coming from the outside, but I am the one letting them in and confirming them.

Picture a young child with someone she really loves, and now picture this person saying these harsh words  “You’re not skinny enough, you’re not tone enough, not tall enough, not shapely enough”. OUCH!  These thoughts and words hurt.  Imagine how this child would feel. The feelings she might feel could be unimportance, worthlessness, loneliness, shame, and embarrassment. Can you imagine having a child and making her feel this way? Of course not, so why is okay to make yourself feel this way. We need to treat ourselves like our own little girl. Handle her with care.  

Loving my body is something I work on everyday. I do this by first realizing that my body is a gift, a beautiful gift to get me around for my stay on this earth.  I have to have an understanding that it needs to be healthy and strong for this stay, not be prettier then other girls to do this job. I also need to realize that judging my body does not make my body prettier or make me feel better about myself, it only damages my self-esteem.

So, what is it that we need to do to love our bodies and not judge them?  Here are a few tips to help you create or maintain a healthy body image:

• Appreciate your body for carrying you through this journey on earth, praise your body for what it can do- walk, run, sing, laugh, play sports. I could go on and on.
• Know that real beauty comes from the inside. What makes you shine comes from who you are, not what you look like.
• Embrace those parts of your body that you don’t like, tell them everyday you love them. Like you would if you had a daughter with something she disliked about herself. You would try to strengthen the parts she disliked.
• Focus on what you love about yourself, not what you don’t like.
• Don’t bad talk yourself; keep your thoughts about yourself positive.
• Take care of yourself, eat healthy, exercise do nice things for yourself, read a book, relax, take a bath, pamper yourself.
• Be around people that treat you well, and like you for who you are.
• Don’t feel like you have to follow the fads, dress the way you want to make you feel good about your body.
• Don’t buy into the media telling you your body has to look a certain way to be attractive.
• Every time someone, or something (TV) says something negative about your body or someone else’s, just have a mantra  “I love myself just the way I am, and I am perfect” 
• Stop judging other people, and the way they look. Low self-esteem shows up as judgments.

I am so excited that we now have celebrities like Tyra Banks and Jennifer Love-Hewett that are standing in their power saying “I like my body”.  Let me know how you feel about your body and how you feel about the emphasis on bodies in general. Hugs to our bodies, Debra