I found this great article by Alice Englin, Partners in Prevention. The following article was taken from the Shoulder to Shoulder Minnesota parenting booklet, which can be found in English and in Spanish at www.shouldertoshoulderminnesota.org.

Who are your teenagers hanging out with?

These articles on parenting are all part of an effort to protect our teens from the dangers of alcohol, tobacco and other drug use. There is not one magic way to make sure they always make good choices, but through effective parenting we are much more likely to help them make the good choices in tough situations.

Please visit this Web site for more information.

Get to know parents.

• Make a point to invite parents in for coffee and a chance to chat when they bring their teen to visit our homes. If you’re the driver, stick your head in the door and introduce yourself to the parents of your teens’ friends.

• Know the address and phone numbers of your teens’ friends. Keep this information in a handy place to make quick phone calls to check teens’ plans.

Get to know teens’ friends

• Introduce yourself to your teen’s friends — let them know your name and learn theirs as well.

• Take interest in them. We’re not going to get juicy information, but know the basics: Where do you go to school? Do you have brothers and sisters? Do you play sports? What do you enjoy doing outside of school?

• Help teens’ friends know the rules in your house. Whether it’s leaving shoes at the door or clearing the dishes from the table after you eat, find a way to clearly and politely communicate your expectations.

Concerned about a particular friend?

• Sometimes teens like to “try out” new friends who are very different from them. If you’re concerned there isn’t enough supervision or that the home of a friend is unsafe, invite the friend to your home.

Questions to ask when your teen goes to another family’s home

• Will there be an adult at home?

• Will the adult be nearby the teens?

• What does the parent know about their teens’ plans?

• Will they be going anywhere? If so, how will they get there? (Do you want an adult to drive or are you OK with the 16-year-old sister driving?)

• What time should I pick up my teen?

• How many teens are coming over? (Is this a raging party or just a few friends?)

• Will they be having a meal with you?

• What are your rules about media ratings and what kids are allowed to watch?

• Do you have alcohol in the house?

• What are your rules about use?

• Does anyone smoke in the house?

• What are your rules about smoking?

• Do you have guns in the home?

• Are they locked away with trigger locks?

Alice Englin is the director of the Freeborn County Partners in Prevention, working to reduce substance use and abuse among youth in Freeborn County.

Good points, aren’t they? I hope you liked it.  These are just a few simple things parents can do to stay connected to their teen.

teens-in-a-group

I have always been a big fan of having the kids at my house, so I can get to know them and their parents. I was always so surprised at how many parents wouldn’t have the desire to come in and meet me.  Get to know your friends parents.

I remember one of my youngest daughters, friends mother was using drugs herself.  It was a tough one for me because I didn’t want to exclude the friend, because she needed friends, but I had to set good boundaries like: your not allowed over her house, if you want to hang out, you do it at our house, no exceptions.

It’s okay to have rules and boundaries with your teens and your teens friends.  The more open you are with your expectations, the easier it will be for them to understand and follow them.

I think getting to know the parents is very important because you have a better change of guiding your teen when you have your teens friends parenting guiding the same way. It makes it easier to keep track of your teens when there is 2 families looking out for their well-being.  So, know their friends and know their parents, and of course know your own teen.

Happy Parenting, and let me know what you think.