This is such an important subject to be exploring as a teen or as a parent for your tween’s entering into puberty.  I started blogging on this and doing my research to make sure I was giving you information that was thorough.  I came across this article on Natural Living for Women that was so comprehensive that I decided to forward it.  I have been using natural tampons for 12 years after my daughters informed me of the harmful affects the non-organic ones.

If you are a Mom that is still using tampons or you have teens that are using them, please read this blog and decide for yourself.  Here it is…

Don’t you think organic tampons make sense for something that comes into contact with delicate tissues of our body on a regular basis?It has been estimated that we can use as much as 9,000 tampons in our lifetimes.  I thought this was an exageration but do the math.  As an example, 4 tampons  for 6 days, 12 months a year for 30 years is 8,640. That’s a lot of tampons.

So What’s The Problem With Tampons?

Most tampons are made from a cotton or rayon-cotton blend. Rayon is a synthetic fiber that is made from wood pulp.  It is highly absorbent and it does it’s job well in our tampons.  Cotton while a so called natural fiber may have been bio-engineered and grown with a mess of pesticides, fertilizers and fungicides. . (See organic cotton.) Both of these fibers undergo a bleaching process before being made into tampons and even though this process has been improved to try and eliminate dioxins, trace levels are still being found.

Dioxins

Dioxins are an environmental pollutant and known carcinogenic by product of bleaching and manufacturing processes.  It is now being found in our soil, air and water.  According to the FDA, this may explain how rayon and cotton may always contain some dioxin. Some groups think even the improved bleaching techniques may contribute to some of the dioxins.The FDA says that levels of dioxin are so low, it is not cause for concern. But some doctor’s and other groups are not so sure and are concerned about the cumulative effects of even tiny amounts of dioxins coming in to contact month after month with a very delicate part of our body. No one knows for sure.

According to the National Research Center for Women and Families, dioxin was found in several brands of tampons and at least one 100% cotton brand.  Companies are required to test and report dioxin levels to the FDA.

Sometimes I feel like we’re in a bit of a chemical soup. Fortunately, if we make better choices we can eliminate some of the harmful chemicals that have become so much a part of our everyday lives.  We can purchase organic tampons or pads that are 100% certified organic cotton, do not contain any synthetic materials such as rayon or chemical additives like fragrances and either no bleaching or non-chlorine bleaching such as hydrogen peroxide.Hydrogen peroxide has not been found to create dioxins.  The elimination of chlorine bleaching to treat fibers and all the chemicals needed to grow conventional cotton helps improve things for both us and the environment.

My Choice For Organic Tampons.

I have used tampon products for years and did not make the switch to organic tampons until a few years ago. I had to experiment with a few brands until I found one I could be happy with. I believe the absence of rayon and it’s high absorbency has been a problem.

The most effective brand I have found is made by Natracare.  Natracare can be purchased at most health food stores and quite a few online sources but check out their website, you’ll find quite a bit of interesting information about this and other forms of safe feminine protection.

My purchase of organic tampons is part of my plan for removing as many unnecessary chemicals as I can from my life for myself, family and the environment. Let’s see 8,640 organic tampons per woman, not bad.

I too have been using Natracare brand for many years and like it a lot. Do your research and pick what product you like the best, this is only my preference.  I do know that from what I have researched, organic tampons are far better for us than non-organic. I just felt like it was important to bring this information to you. Let me know what you think.

Every year I look back at the past year and take inventory on what I have created in my life.  Some of it I set out to create, other things just happened, or do they?  I know why the things I put my mind on get created, but am often curious about the things that just seem to happen.

This year while we sat with good friends to establish our hopes and desires for the year to come, I noticed a big difference in what I was trying to manifest in my life.  Of course I want to continue to work with teens and parents, make sure my book is still available to as many girls who need it, and work on projects like e-books, workshops and other material that will help people.  But what really changed was my deep desire to be more connected with myself and others, to be more open-hearted and to change the way I live in this world.

I want to slow down and be around the people I love and the people that make my heart sing more.  It is often difficult to do this when we are going and going, working and working, and come to the end of our day pooped!  So how can we live our life with more purpose?  Pay attention to what you are doing every day and if it’s not what is making you live in your heart, analyse it.  Then see how you might be able to shift it.  So, if I want certain things in my life, what is it going to take to get them?

I was just talking to my boyfriends Field Representative in his landscape business and she was amazed at the business that was coming in this week.  I work closely with them and we had a talk about bringing in more business last week. She had been working on a book of native flowers to have for clients, also a good tool.  But when she shifting her intentions to bringing in more business it was amazing how fast it started coming in. All she did was move her attention from the book to cultivating new business, and the universe got a clear picture of what she wanted and started putting things in place.

This is so important because what we put our energy or attention on starts gaining momentum.  It’s critical to first look at what you what in your life and then figure out the actions that are going to get you there. Then take those actions.  So if I want to create more connected relationship in my life, what do I need to do?  First I need to to look at which relationships I want to be more connected to, then call those people and put them in my schedule. If I don’t put them in my schedule, guess what, I continue to work and work, and the week ends and I haven’t spend quality time with my friends.  I schedule them just like I do appointments, even though you may think this is too business like, it works for me. Then we get together and so the connection begins. I talk to them about how often they would like to get together and if our relationship is important to them, of course they say yes, and we set up our next get together.

If I continue to to make sure I fit my friends in my schedule those relationships will blossom, because I am taking action to make sure that they do. This is easy stuff, whats important to you, how are you going to get it and then do it. So to come back to my first question “Do New Years Resolutions Work”? Not if there isn’t a follow up plan, just to state something doesn’t have the power unless you take the action to make it happen.

As far as the things that just happen, well the universe guides us in mysterious ways, doesn’t it? This is a good time to just roll with it, enjoy the ride and then look at what comes of it. Paying attention in life makes our life so much richer and helps us understand the meaning and purpose of our life.  Test it out and let me know what you think.

So, when is it okay to quit?  I use to be that person that never gave up, even if it wasn’t in my best interest.  The thought of not finishing or failing at something gave me high anxiety.  I was the person that would say “Sure I can carry the house, I’m strong enough”, no matter what.

It took me a long time to realize that it might not be a good idea to carry a house.  I had to start bringing in the part of me that was okay with not accomplishing it all.  I also looked at the part of me that wasn’t okay with myself and had to prove that the only way to be okay was to be good at everything and never quit anything.

It was holiday vacation time for me, my boyfriend and his 15 year-old twins and we all decided to go Snowboarding.  I used to Ski 13 years ago and thought Snowboarding would be tough, but I’d be able to do it, even though my physical health was on the mend.  I have been working out most of my life but through my health stuff had taken 2 years off.

The first day Ian, one of the twins and myself took group lessons just to make sure we had our form down and didn’t learn any bad habits. After our lesson we proceeded up the mountain with the rest and I was shocked at how bad I was, and how hard it was.  I couldn’t stay up for longer than 7 seconds.

When I was up my legs were burning like someone was throwing hot water on them.  I don’t know how many of you have snowboarded but you need a strong core and strong legs. Both of which have been on the mend for the last 6 months for me.  I have always been so strong in my body and very athletic, so this for me wasn’t easy to handle.  After doing so poorly the first day, I had to make a decision if I was going to give it another whirl.  Let me remind you that I had fallen so many times that my butt was bruised, and both my arms and legs felt light they had been pulled out of their sockets. So, I slept on it.

The next morning I decided to give it one more day because I felt that it wasn’t a fair assessment only after one day.  So I took a private lesson, and really felt like I had learned so much more,  that it had to make a difference.  So after my lesson I went up the bunny hill to practice with a whole new level of excitement.  I got to the top and to my surprise it was like I had never had a lesson.  At first I was so disappointed, and wanted to prove to myself and everyone that I could do it and then something shifted in me.  I became very compassionate for how hard I had tried even with my body in it’s repairing stage.

I finally got to the bottom and took off the board and went and had a hot chocalate, and allowed myself to be disappointed without beating myself up.  I realized that it was okay for me not to be a snowboarder (right now), that I would ski until my body was stronger to handle a sport that took so much strength.

I realized I gave it my best shot, (I have the bruises to prove it) and that it felt okay inside to let it go.  Now that doesn’t mean I well never snowboard again, it just means that it’s okay if I don’t.  If you are like I was, always pushing yourself to the edge, weather it is good for you or not or if you push your teens passed their limit, look inside yourself and ask why.

As long as you give something your best shot and you decide that for whatever reason you don’t like it, or just simply don’t want to do it, it’s okay to quit.  It doesn’t make you a loser, on the contrary, it makes you a person who will try anything and a person who loves them self.

Your Truly,
The lousy Snowboarder

I have been reading a lot of different articles about over-parenting or “helicopter parenting” and thought it might be a topic that warrants a discussion.  I believe that if parents are always there to pick up the pieces or make all the decisions in the kids life, they rob them of most of their growth experiences.

How do we learn and grow?  We learn and grow from doing, from having to figure things out, not without guidance I might add.  If as parents we are guiding our children instead of making all of their decisions or running to fix everything, there is a better chance of learning that is present.  Think about it, if we as parents are always making the decisions for our kids without their input about what they think is the right way, they will always need are input.  As parents we want to help them develop the skills they need to become independent, happy adults. Isn’t this our job?

The only way to get good at something is to practice, practice, practice. Instead of making the decisions for them or automatically fixing what they have messed up, we ask for their input.  Ask them how they would fix this or handle that, and ask them why. The idea is to get them to explore why one way or another would work better.  During this exploration, keep your opinions to yourself and just keep asking questions.  This allows them the opportunity to explore their feelings and thoughts around the issue. It helps them develop the skills of making good decisions.  If we are constantly making these decisions for them how will they ever learn?  Off to college they go, and you are no where to be found and they have the decision making skills of a 4 year old.  You can only guess what the outcome will be, it’s not pretty.  The problem is two fold; you have been holding them so tight for so long that they break out and do things they might not necessarily do if they had been given more freedom and developed better tools to make good decisions. Then there’s the fact that they simple don’t have any tools because you never taught them, you thought it was better to make the decisions for them.

When we allow our kids to participate in the decision making process we help them learn how to make decisions, it’s really simply. If we make the decisions for them , they don’t learn.  Maybe in the beginning of this process they will think certain decisions are good and you will think they are crazy. That’s when we keep asking questions.  The more questions asked the better chance they will have of figuring things out.

I also encourage you as parents to explore in yourself why you have these fears surrounding your kids making bad decisions.  Yes, I know, they might make a mistake, a really bad mistake.  This is why talking to them and guiding them is so important. The mistake can either be made under your guidance or as an adult without you around. This is where our journey comes in, as parents we are on our own journeys that our kids actions are helping us figure out our life. Really look at your fears, that contribute to your controlling behavior.

Yes, the fear is real that they will do something really stupid that will affect their lives, but we can’t let our fears about something that might happen rule our lives.  The more we participate in guiding them, the better they will get at making good decisions and the less you will need to monitor their ever move.  So, be open to looking at your behavior around your fears and start letting go, so you can guide your kids and have them be able to receive your guidance easier.  When our opinions are force fed to our kids they will resist them, when they feel they are a part of the process, it feels like it is their decision.  See how that could make a difference?

So, enjoy guiding your kids to become independent happy kids, and let me know how it goes, or your opinion about this.

Thanks & Happy Parenting, Debra

In our attempt to be connected with our kids, friends, co-workers or family, do cell phones disconnected us to the person right next to us?

How many times have you seen a group of people together  but not really together because they are all on their cell phones talking to someone else. Look around you and check out how many people are talking on their cell phones.  Everyone has a cell phone and every parent thinks their teen should have one. How did we get by without them?

Cell phones are great for emergencies, work and contacted people to get together. Where I think cell phones are destructive is when we are constantly on them just visiting, when we should be face-to-face visiting instead. How personal is it to be visiting with someone on the phone, and how personal is it to be with someone, talking on the phone with someone else.

How is this affecting our social skills and how is affecting our relationship with our teens?  Our communication shows up differently when we are texting, e-mailing or talking on the phone. We aren’t as present as we are when we are face-to-face.

It is affecting our relationship with ours teens because we can’t be present with them because either they are on the phone or we are answering our phone.  Right in the middle of a conversation, someones phone rings and takes us away from who we are with.  Besides it is extremely rude, it makes having a close relationship with someone impossible.

It is also affecting relationships between our teens and their friends. It’s hard to have a close relationship with someone who isn’t present with you. If they are on the phone when they are with you, how do you feel?

So, it’s safe to say that we aren’t going to throw away our cell phones. Maybe we can just have some boundaries around them.  Here are a few tips.

1)  Spend quality time with your teens without your cell phones
2)  If your cell phone rings while your teen is talking to you, ignore it
3)  Encourage your teens to spend more time face-to-face with their friends
4)  Leave your cell phone at home when you go out as a family
5)  Talk to your teens about the social deadness that cell phones have on us
6)  Set boundaries on time allowed talking on the cell phones to friends
7)  No cell phones at the dinner table, including parents

Get back to the basics of parenting, communicating, sharing and loving being with your kids, they won’t be around forever.

If I don’t talk to you before Thanksgiving, have a wonderful day with your friends and family and be grateful that you have them.  There are people in the world who will be all alone, with no one to break bread with.
With love and gratitude,
Debra

One day a year we sit with our family and friends and express how thankful we are.  Doesn’t this seem a bit absurd that once a year we do this because of the tradition?  When I bring gratitude into my daily life, it seems to feel better on all levels.  Yes, Thanksgiving is a great time to be with family and friends and bring gratitude to the forefront of our lives, but why not everyday.

Here are Ten Tips to helping yourself and your teens be grateful:

1)  Talk to your teens about the less fortunate
2)  At dinner, have everyone express one thing they are grateful for, everyday
3)  Don’t give your teens everything they want
4)  Make your teens work for some of their things
5)  Teach them about being a team and helping around the house, for nothing in return
6)  When they say thank you, tell them how much you appreciate their gratitude
7)  When doing menial jobs, look at the silver lining in it and what you have to be grateful around it
8)  Set an example by showing gratitude
9)  When your teen shows sigh of entitlement, have a conversation around it
10) Live in the moment and realize that everything is a lesson to be learned

I hope these tips help you feel more grateful and you help your teens be more grateful.  And on that note I want to thank everyone for tuning into my blog and giving such great feed back. Don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter for more fun stuff.

I remember getting my license and driving around like I was all that and more.  I didn’t understand the importance of what being behind the wheel of a car meant. The dangers actually!  2 months after getting my license I rear-ended another vehicle. I took my eyes off the road without realizing the impact it could have.

When my oldest daughter Amber got her license I was sure she wouldn’t get in an accident because she was very conscious in her everyday life, she had an accident 1 week after getting her license.  My youngest daughter didn’t get into an accident the first year although we all admitted it was a miracle because she drove like Mr. Magoo, causing many accidents behind her, we were sure.

National Teen Driving Statistics (found at Rocky Mountain Insurance association)

• Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for teenagers.
• 16 year-olds have higher crash rates than drivers of any other age.
• 16-year-olds are three times more likely to die in a motor vehicle crash than the average of all drivers.
• 3,490 drivers age 15-20 died in car crashes in 2006, up slightly from 2005.
• Drivers age 15-20 accounted for 12.9 percent of all the drivers involved in fatal crashes and 16 percent of all the drivers involved in police-reported crashes in 2006.
• The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) estimates the economic impact of auto accidents involving 15-20 year old drivers is over $40 billion.
• A recent report by AAA estimates the cost of crashes involving 15-17 year olds to be $34 billion.
• Graduated Driving programs appear to be making a difference. Fatal crashes involving 15- to 20-year olds in 2005 were down 6.5 percent from 7,979 in 1995, to the lowest level in ten years.
• Fewer 16-year-olds are driving. In 2006 only 30 percent of 16-year-olds had their driver’s licenses compared to 40% in 1998 according to the Federal Highway Administration.
• According to a 2005 survey of 1,000 people ages 15 and 17, conducted by the Allstate Foundation
  • More than half (56 percent) of young drivers use cell phones while driving,
  • 69 percent said that they speed to keep up with traffic
  • 64 percent said they speed to go through a yellow light.
  • 47 percent said that passengers sometimes distract them.
  • Nearly half said they believed that most crashes involving teens result from drunk driving.
• 31 percent of teen drivers killed in 2006 had been drinking, according to NHTSA. 25 percent had a blood alcohol concentration of .08 or higher.
• Statistics show that 16 and 17-year-old driver death rates increase with each additional passenger (IIHS).

My Suggestion to parents of teens that are going to start driving is “Practice makes Perfect” and “Education gives knowledge”.  So, talk to them about driving and the dangers, and what it means to be behind the wheel of a heavy piece of equipment that can kill someone.  Show them the stats.

In that 6 months period where they have their permit and you are teaching them how to drive, take it seriously, it is your job.  First have them drive every time you both get into the car, I know this isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.  If you can’t, get your spouse to do it, but just do it. Practice does make perfect.

Send them to a Driving program above and beyond your training and the schools Drivers Ed.  The more they know about driving and how to avoid dangerous situations the better chance you have of them not getting into an accident.  If you don’t take this seriously, they won’t.

Looking at the Stats, we know that this is a serious matter, so lets treat it as one. As a parent we have a lot of things we have to teach our teens, and a lot of them are life saving issues.  Do the research together on the Internet and ask them if they know anyone that has been in  a car accident and died. Chances are they have and so they will understand the importance of talking about driving and they will be excited to get a lot of experience behind the wheel.  One of the complaints teens have with learning to drive is that their parents don’t let them drive enough before they go out on their own.

So do your job and prepare your teen for operating a heavy piece of machinery, and have fun while your at it.

It’s your teen’s birthday and your scrabbling for the perfect gift.  Every year you see the disappointment in your teens face when he or she opens the gift that you spent months looking for.

After a few years of gift disappointments for both my kids and myself, I decided that it was time to remove my ego and get them what they want.  At first I thought, I’d just give them cash, and wound up feeling as disappointed.  Cash seemed to take the fun completely out of the gift all together.

The first gift I gave them was explaining that it’s no fun to give a gift to an ingrate, and that no matter what you received you are to appear excited because it’s not about the gift at all, it’s about the thought that went into the gift from a person that loves you very much.  Now, even thought we know that this is a great gift to our teens, the gift of wisdom, maybe we are still looking for special gift that really excite them.  So here they are, as simple as they can be.

Ten Top Gifts for Teens:
1) Gift Certificate to their favorite clothing store, not yours-  Teens don’t want to be dressed by their parents, they are becoming more independent.  Give them the Gift Certificate and let them go shopping and pick out their own cloths.  I was at a store shopping and I heard a mother and daughter about 13 years old arguing about what her mother would let her buy. Occasionally I would pop my head out of my dressing room and check out what the teen was wearing to see if it was inappropriate and it was fine, maybe not the style I would wear, but there was a 37-year age gap between us.  Parents stop it; if it’s not inappropriate let them develop their own style.

2) Gift Certificate to a music store- Are you getting the picture yet?  Unless you know their music taste and know exactly what they are looking for, give it up to a gift certificate. It really feels different than cash.

3) An Art Class- Pick a class that you know will excite them. This is a great gift because it may open their eyes to a new talent that they might enjoy for many years.  Get them all of the materials to keep up the hobby.

4) Special Package for their cell phones- Maybe it’s a sight to down load special rings, that they can’t afford themselves.

5) Electronics- Even though I’m into monitoring how much kids are on the computer, or in front of video games and TV, it’s a gift the will love.  Just because you buy it doesn’t mean you can’t monitor the use.

6) A Bike- a mountain or street bike is a great gift because again it opens them up to a new hobby.

7) Movie Passes- Most kids love going to the movies and this is like having free passes to good entertainment.

Bookstore Gift Card- It’s like a credit card to a book store, so they can go buy a book on their time, and not have to be with you.

9) Meditation or Yoga Class- Only if they have shown interest in either of these, or maybe it can be a second gift that you give for both of you to go together.  Use it as an added bonus gift, with something else they love.  I have been noticing a lot of teens getting into both Yoga and Meditation these days.

10) Something for their bedroom- A cool retro chair, beanbags, couch if it will fit, posters, new comforter, or go shopping together and look for cool decorations for the room.  Their bedrooms are their own special places and we need to honor that and let them decorate it the way they want.  Teens need one room in the house to express their individuality in and a space that is only theirs.

So, hopefully I have given you some ideas about great gifts to give your teens.  To end cap the first gift, not in the top ten, which was wisdom about gift giving, the best gift you can give your teen is unconditional love, and that is shown by simply allowing them to be themselves and still accepting them and loving them.

Happy shopping and enjoy your teen for being themselves in all of their uniqueness.

I can’t tell you how many days I would struggle to stay awake, while in school, when I was growing up.  Some of the teachers I had were killing me.  I believe teachers have become better at their jobs, or maybe in Sedona they seem more into it.

80% of the teachers I had seemed to dislike the job and thekids.  When I look back at what teachers made an impact on my life through teaching, I come up with a big fat zero.  I remember a middle school teacher named Mr. Felix for Spanish and I would get so nervous in his class that I would get the hick-ups everyday. If that wasn’t embarrassing enough, he would make me stand in front of the whole class and explain why I had the hick-ups.  What was wrong with him?  Instead of talking to me after class about what he could do to help me, he just made things worse.

I just wanted to check out when I was a teenager. Check out of school and check out of life.  My teenage years weren’t that fun.  Today as an adult I get to pick where I put myself.  If I’m in a situation where I feel like falling a sleep or someone is treating me poorly, I just remove myself.   Today, if I were a teen, I would talk to my teachers about how I like to learn, and try to change how they teach if they were a teacher who didn’t seem to care.  easier said then done, I know.

Hang in there, you will be old enough soon, to be where you want to be, and if you’re a teacher, take a look at how you are reaching these teens, is it effective and are you enjoying it or are you just getting through the day.