In my attempt to go away and not do a bit of work, I was amazed at how many situations came into my day to get me to not relax and work or simply hold myself to a scheduled day.  It started as we were leaving going through Phoenix. We stopped by and dropped off books to an organization that helps kids deal with their parents being deported for war. How could I turn that down, right?

In our attempt to be connected with our kids, friends, co-workers or family, do cell phones disconnected us to the person right next to us?

How many times have you seen a group of people together  but not really together because they are all on their cell phones talking to someone else. Look around you and check out how many people are talking on their cell phones.  Everyone has a cell phone and every parent thinks their teen should have one. How did we get by without them?

Cell phones are great for emergencies, work and contacted people to get together. Where I think cell phones are destructive is when we are constantly on them just visiting, when we should be face-to-face visiting instead. How personal is it to be visiting with someone on the phone, and how personal is it to be with someone, talking on the phone with someone else.

How is this affecting our social skills and how is affecting our relationship with our teens?  Our communication shows up differently when we are texting, e-mailing or talking on the phone. We aren’t as present as we are when we are face-to-face.

It is affecting our relationship with ours teens because we can’t be present with them because either they are on the phone or we are answering our phone.  Right in the middle of a conversation, someones phone rings and takes us away from who we are with.  Besides it is extremely rude, it makes having a close relationship with someone impossible.

It is also affecting relationships between our teens and their friends. It’s hard to have a close relationship with someone who isn’t present with you. If they are on the phone when they are with you, how do you feel?

So, it’s safe to say that we aren’t going to throw away our cell phones. Maybe we can just have some boundaries around them.  Here are a few tips.

1)  Spend quality time with your teens without your cell phones
2)  If your cell phone rings while your teen is talking to you, ignore it
3)  Encourage your teens to spend more time face-to-face with their friends
4)  Leave your cell phone at home when you go out as a family
5)  Talk to your teens about the social deadness that cell phones have on us
6)  Set boundaries on time allowed talking on the cell phones to friends
7)  No cell phones at the dinner table, including parents

Get back to the basics of parenting, communicating, sharing and loving being with your kids, they won’t be around forever.

If I don’t talk to you before Thanksgiving, have a wonderful day with your friends and family and be grateful that you have them.  There are people in the world who will be all alone, with no one to break bread with.
With love and gratitude,
Debra

One day a year we sit with our family and friends and express how thankful we are.  Doesn’t this seem a bit absurd that once a year we do this because of the tradition?  When I bring gratitude into my daily life, it seems to feel better on all levels.  Yes, Thanksgiving is a great time to be with family and friends and bring gratitude to the forefront of our lives, but why not everyday.

Here are Ten Tips to helping yourself and your teens be grateful:

1)  Talk to your teens about the less fortunate
2)  At dinner, have everyone express one thing they are grateful for, everyday
3)  Don’t give your teens everything they want
4)  Make your teens work for some of their things
5)  Teach them about being a team and helping around the house, for nothing in return
6)  When they say thank you, tell them how much you appreciate their gratitude
7)  When doing menial jobs, look at the silver lining in it and what you have to be grateful around it
8)  Set an example by showing gratitude
9)  When your teen shows sigh of entitlement, have a conversation around it
10) Live in the moment and realize that everything is a lesson to be learned

I hope these tips help you feel more grateful and you help your teens be more grateful.  And on that note I want to thank everyone for tuning into my blog and giving such great feed back. Don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter for more fun stuff.

How is Valentine’s Day feeling for you?  Is it a day you look forward to because you and your partner participate in this day to make it so very special for each other, or is it a day that makes you feel like an outcast because you don’t have a partner?  I have been on both sides of the coin and it does feel strange to have a day devoted to relationships, when you are not in one.

It is wonderful to be the one giving chocolates, flowers or setting up a special night, and it is as great to be the one receiving these intimate gifts as well.  So why do we have to be in a conventional relationship to feel like we can participate in the fun of Valentine’s?  We don’t!

I remember being single and having Valentine’s Day roll around and feeling a bit odd and disconnected until I decided that I was going to give some of my close friends a Valentine’s card, a flower and host a special dinner at my house.  There are so many ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day without it looking like the traditional day of boyfriend get roses for girlfriend, girlfriend makes dinner for boyfriend and girlfriend and boyfriend cuddle next to the fire.

Here are some ideas for you if you are single and want to enjoy the Valentine’s Day celebration. Lets let our mines go wild, it can be anything you want it to be.

• Drop off a Valentine’s card to friends from an admirer, don’t let them know it you, make their day
• Send flowers to their work, from an admirer
• Host a party for friends you love and want to be your Valentine
• Host a theme party for friends, including couples
• Take flowers to a special friend, telling them you care
• Utilize this day to make the people in your life feel loved by you
• Get your friends together and do something fun, dinner or dancing

Holidays can be a wonderful opportunity to tell the people in our lives that we love them, any day is a good day for expressing our love for our loved ones. The look on their face is surprised, they hug me and tell me thank you, that it was so special to let them know. I was giving them a gift, while seeing how excited they are is really a gift for me.

So use this Valentine’s Day to step out of the box and put yourself out there to the people you love, even if you have a partner.  If you have any other ideas about making this Valentine’s Day special, please share them with me, I am always looking for fun ways to celebrate and have fun.