When I read this article from a friend of mine, it made me realize how important it is to walk through your fears, and not allow them to control your life.  When we plow through our fears even though it makes us uncomfortable, our fears become smaller and smaller.  So, take a look at those fears you are avoiding and walk through through them one tiny step at a time, and soon they won’t be fears at all.

Guest Blogger Sunny Schlenger

Me? Thunderstorms. I head straight for cover when one is coming. If I were a dog I’d be shivering and whimpering and hiding under the bed.

This always puzzled me because when I was growing up, my parents and brother loved thunderstorms. They’d open the door to the front porch and stand by the screen door and watch the rain pour off the gutters in sheets. My dad used to say “Here comes Liberty Dam!” (our local reservoir and dam). I remember the wild smell of rushing water and the excitement of the cascade. But of course I was standing six feet back and cowering.

One day I asked my parents if they had any idea why I was so afraid of thunderstorms. My dad thought for a minute and answered, “Well, maybe it was because Nana was afraid of storms and when she used to baby-sit you, she probably took you into the closet with her when she went to hide.”

Oh.

Roy and I went to see some Native American history movies a few weeks ago and they showed some shorts produced by children with the help of a technology grant. One film in particular fascinated me. It was created by a ten year old girl and was about the beauty of rain and thunderstorms. Her narration told of the magic of storms and how they bring land and spirit together. She talked about how grateful she was for the storms that come in the summer and bring the land back to life.

Summer is monsoon season in Arizona, and it’s a season I’ve managed to avoid until now. I like to head back east for the summer months but this year we’re staying out here a little longer because we’ll be in North Carolina until October, for my daughter’s wedding.  So I’m facing my first full Month of Monsoons.

Monsoons are thunderstorms on steroids. You can see them coming from miles away and they power through followed by dangerous flash flooding. These storms are custom-tailored to invoke terror in a phobic like me.

Fortunately I recognize an intervention from the Universe when I’m presented with one. This summer is my big chance to face my phobia head-on. I came across a quote in a magazine that I cut out and posted prominently on my desk:

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass.
It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

I’ve been talking with some friends who love storms and I’m really trying to listen when they describe the wonder and positive thrill of the experience. I also talked with a friend who is a phobia-treatment specialist and I took notes on how to deal with the biggest part of my fear – the sudden loud cracks of thunder overhead. Apparently a lot of my anxiety has to do with the anticipation of the noise.

I seem to do better when I can use flashes of lightning to prepare me for the coming big bang, so last week I went out on my covered back patio to watch an oncoming storm. I sat way back in the corner so I was protected from the wind and rain and tried to focus on this demonstration of the Wild West at her natural best.

I practiced my deep breathing and refused to give in to my inclination to high-tail it to perceived “safety”. I rode out that thunderstorm on the patio, singing the Doors’ “Riders on the Storm” to myself and whatever wildlife was around to listen.

I wish I could say that that was it, and I’m now at peace with thunderstorms. No, but it was a beginning. I’m determined not to go through the rest of my life at the mercy of a fear I’ve had since before I was three. It’s time to make a change.

We don’t have to be held hostage to fears that have controlled us in the past. The first step is to realize that fact, and make a choice to work with whatever is frightening us. Our choices have power. Even such a simple decision as not to give in to a knee-jerk reaction of flight. I may still be a distance from “enjoying” a thunderstorm but I also don’t have to respond like a three year old either.

After all, life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

Sunny Schlenger is a professional organizer, author and mentor with over 30 years of experience as a pioneer in her field. She helped launch the “custom-tailored” approach to getting organized in the 90’s with her best-selling book, How To Be Organized In Spite Of Yourself
http://www.SunCoach.com