In our attempt to be connected with our kids, friends, co-workers or family, do cell phones disconnected us to the person right next to us?
How many times have you seen a group of people together but not really together because they are all on their cell phones talking to someone else. Look around you and check out how many people are talking on their cell phones. Everyone has a cell phone and every parent thinks their teen should have one. How did we get by without them?
Cell phones are great for emergencies, work and contacted people to get together. Where I think cell phones are destructive is when we are constantly on them just visiting, when we should be face-to-face visiting instead. How personal is it to be visiting with someone on the phone, and how personal is it to be with someone, talking on the phone with someone else.
How is this affecting our social skills and how is affecting our relationship with our teens? Our communication shows up differently when we are texting, e-mailing or talking on the phone. We aren’t as present as we are when we are face-to-face.
It is affecting our relationship with ours teens because we can’t be present with them because either they are on the phone or we are answering our phone. Right in the middle of a conversation, someones phone rings and takes us away from who we are with. Besides it is extremely rude, it makes having a close relationship with someone impossible.
It is also affecting relationships between our teens and their friends. It’s hard to have a close relationship with someone who isn’t present with you. If they are on the phone when they are with you, how do you feel?
So, it’s safe to say that we aren’t going to throw away our cell phones. Maybe we can just have some boundaries around them. Here are a few tips.
1) Spend quality time with your teens without your cell phones
2) If your cell phone rings while your teen is talking to you, ignore it
3) Encourage your teens to spend more time face-to-face with their friends
4) Leave your cell phone at home when you go out as a family
5) Talk to your teens about the social deadness that cell phones have on us
6) Set boundaries on time allowed talking on the cell phones to friends
7) No cell phones at the dinner table, including parents
Get back to the basics of parenting, communicating, sharing and loving being with your kids, they won’t be around forever.
If I don’t talk to you before Thanksgiving, have a wonderful day with your friends and family and be grateful that you have them. There are people in the world who will be all alone, with no one to break bread with.
With love and gratitude,
Debra
Internet safety is an on-going concern with parents and the Internet isn’t going away. I think the Internet is a good thing if we educate our kids and help them understand the dangers and help them be responsible users. I found this great article from NetNanny.com.
Top Ten Internet Safety Tips
First educate yourself, then your child.
Banning a child from certain sites may only motivate them to spend more time on them, whereas educating your child on how to keep safe will give them the tools they need to navigate their online world without being hurt; from not posting personal information to a site to understanding that people they are talking to may not actually be who they are. If the parents know the dangers themselves, this sets an example to the child to understand them as well.
Teach children the obvious identity rules.
Tell your children NOT to put photos of themselves on the Internet or to give out their names, addresses, phone numbers, schools, or other personal information online.
Install an Internet filter or family safety software.
Family safety software is becoming extremely advanced and an effective way to filter dangerous content. Additionally, this software usually comes with tools like time management, remote monitoring and reporting, and keystroke recognition, giving families greater peace of mind and manageability.
Know the dangers associated with sites your children frequent.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Whether it’s MySpace, Facebook or another social networking site, by knowing what people are doing on your children’s favorite sites that could put them in harm’s way, parents can educate their children and show them the warning signs of potentially dangerous situations.
Teach children what to do if they encounter pornography on a home or public computer, such as at a school or a library.
In a similar fashion to the fire warning of “stop, drop and roll,” you can teach children to quickly turn off power to the computer monitor and go to get an adult. This can prevent a child from attempting to stop the situation by clicking more buttons (and thereby spreading the attack and being exposed to more porn).
Manage your children’s time on the Internet.
Scheduling times when a child can be on the Internet and the amount they can be online ensures that you know when they are on the Internet and how long. By not allowing them to have free reign reduces their chances of being exposed to inappropriate content.
Set specific Internet guidelines for your children to live by and consistently enforce consequences, if they are not being followed.
Giving your children specific guidelines to follow will ensure they know where they stand when it comes to how they use the Internet as well as the consequences when they breach the rules. If a parent enforces consequences consistently, their children will be more likely to follow the rules.
Keep computers out of children’s bedrooms and in open areas.
With PCs in the open, children will be less inclined to view and access material that may not be acceptable.
Create a relationship with your children that is conducive to open communication.
Open communication and trust is extremely valuable. By letting children know what is expected from them and that their safety is a top priority, they will feel that if something happens –whether they are approached by a cyber stranger or bully or receive an inappropriate e-mail – they can approach a parent to resolve the issue without feeling they are in trouble.
Understand Internet Privacy Policies as they apply to your child.
Websites directed to children or that knowingly collect information from kids under 13 must post a notice of their information collection practices that includes:
types of personal information they collect from kids-for example, name, home address, email address or hobbies.
how the site will use the information-for example, to market to the child who supplied the information, to notify contest winners or to make the information available through a child’s participation in a chat room.
whether personal information is forwarded to advertisers or other third parties.
a contact at the site.
Get parental consent.
In many cases, a site must obtain parental consent before collecting, using or disclosing personal information about a child.Consent is not required when a site is collecting an email address to:
respond to a one-time request from the child.
provide notice to the parent.
ensure the safety of the child on the site.
send a newsletter or other information on a regular basis as long as the site notifies a parent and gives them a chance to say no to the arrangement.
What Parents Should Do:
Look for a privacy policy on any website directed to children.
The policy must be available through a link on the website’s homepage and at each area where personal information is collected from kids. Websites for general audiences that have a children’s section must post the notice on the homepages of the section for kids.Read the policy closely to learn the kinds of personal information being collected, how it will be used, and whether it will be passed on to third parties. If you find a website that doesn’t post basic protections for children’s personal information, ask for details about their information collection practices.
Decide whether to give consent.
Giving consent authorizes the website to collect personal information from your child. You can give consent and still say no to having your child’s information passed along to a third party.Your consent isn’t necessary if the website is collecting your child’s email address simply to respond to a one-time request for information.
I hope this helps out there in the virtual word, let me know.
I’m always finding great information on the Web and here is something I found from another great parenting site The Blog of P.U.R.E. by Sue Scheff. We are all working together to give parents and teens the tools they need to live a healthier happier life.
The site is BodiMojo, a site that promotes Health/Nutrition/Fitness for teens. Developed by teens themselves and experts. BodiMojo believes the future of health resides within our ability to provide behavioral motivation and incentives in an increasingly mobile and consumer-oriented world.
Health can be fun, and it can be habit forming.
Teens told us what they want and we listened. Watch us play: BodiMojo will include music, interactive tools, games, videos, community building, contest, original content, social networking modules, and customized user pages for teens. And plug us in-BodiMojo will also offer users new technology for fitness tracking and mobile motivation.
The BodiMojo philosophy is simple: Health can be cool
Nutritional experts, health professionals, and fitness gurus – along with our teens participants – will develop articles, information, graphics, videos, newsletters, interactive features and more.
The current site provides information and updates on the development of the full BodiMojo Web site as well as receive original content submissions form teens. Keep an eye on BodiMojo and our upcoming Virtual User’s Group, Blog, Contests and News. BodiMojo will launch in 2009.
…a body in motion tends to stay in motion.
BodiMojo will also be partnering with game developers, musicians, technologists, producers, athletes, writers, artists and business people interested in participating in BodiMojo’s mission. Contact us at partners@bodimojo.com.
Let me know what you think of the site, I thinks it’s going to be a great way for teens to be fit and healthy.
It’s amazing to me how teens react to money differently. My oldest daughter didn’t like to spend her money or mine for that matter. She was always very picky about what she purchased to make sure that the money was well spent. My youngest on the other hand spent both of our money without a second thought, and sometimes on wasteful things.
I am noticing the same with my partners boys, one is very careful about his spending, and the other has the money spent in no time at all. What can we do as parents to assure that our teens have a certain amount of respect for money, no matter where it is coming from.
The first thing I suggest is starting at a young age. Be careful that you don’t give them everything they want, every new gadget that comes onto the market; computer, I Pod, cellular phone, new car and on and on. Set up a chore list and make them work for the toys they want. Also, be honest with yourself, I hear so many parents say “She needs a phone so I can get in touch with her”, please, how have parents stay in touch with their kids for all of these years without cell phones? Teens want the phone to call their friends and to be like all the other teens. That’s okay, but let them pay for the expense with their own earned money.
We don’t want our teens to feel like they are entitled. By giving them everything they want, without working for it, they feel superior. A perfect example of this is: when it comes time to drive and parents buy their teens really nice cars. I’m not saying you have to buy your teen a beater, but a modest car will do the trick. A used, economical car that is adequate and serves the purpose but doesn’t scream “Look at me, aren’t I special”.
We want to teach our kids to understand what money is all about, the importance. If we give them everything and they get into college and then get out in the world without us to pay for everything, for the first time, what do you think will happen? I have seen a lot of young adults go crazy, and get credit cards and spend like they are use to spending, not caring about who has to pay back the debt. They get used to having and therefore keep spending.
I think we need to talk to our children about money starting at a younger age, giving them an allowance for chores and letting them spend it the way they see fit. Then always talking to them as they get older about money. Talk to them about what you did to start making a living and the bills that you have and the responsibility you have. Talk to them about credit cards and paying for things up front, explain the difference.
I sat down with my daughters when they were 11 and 12-years-old and ask what they were going to be when they grew up, and where they wanted to live and what they wanted to have. My youngest daughter said she wanted to work at store, like Walmart, and my oldest wanted to be a Veterinarian. I showed them on paper, what each of them would make in the careers they picked and what they could afford to buy with there income. My youngest was very disappointed with the outcome of her paycheck.
Teens love to spend money and they don’t quite understand that the money bag isn’t bottomless. I remember my youngest daughter telling me to “Just write a check”, when she wanted something and I told her I couldn’t afford it. I asked her what she thought happened when I wrote a check, she had no idea.
As our children get older their spending habits get more expensive, their needs for things in general become more. It’s okay to have your teen participate in the expenses of their living habits, for a fact it’s more than okay, it’s a good thing. When they participate, they become more responsibly with their actions of spending money. When it’s their money they are less apt to spend money foolishly. They tend to spend our money a lot easier, there is no risk.
You want your teen to participate in their expenses, not cover them completely. When I was a teen, my friend was totally responsibly for all of her clothes, make-up, food, entertainment, everything. It was too much for her, so don’t go overboard. Building a responsible teen is one thing, you don’t want them to be neurotic. So, talk to your teens about money, give them chores or let them get a part-time job and earn their own money. Let them spend their money on what they want to spend it on, and still help them with necessities.
It’s our job to raise independent adults, the best way to do this is to teach them about responsibilities. Money is a huge part of this. It also gives us the opportunity to look into our own spending habits, and how we view money. Good luck, and have fun with your teen, helping them learn how to and not to spend money.
Sexting, sending nude photos of yourself to someone through your cell phone. What are teens thinking…or are they?
It seems with all of this great new technology comes and big responsibility to the parents to educate their teens on what the dangers might be. It’s not all fun and games.
These are photos that you can’t take back, once they leave your phone and go to another persons phone, they can do what they want with them. Here is another video from the Today Show regarding this topic.
It seems so harmless and fun for teens, until something like this happens. It’s easy to find information on this subject parents. Ask your teen what he or she thinks about sex-ting, and then get on the Internet and start doing some research. Teens might not even think about the consequences. Ask them what if you or someone you know sends a nude picture to your boyfriend, and you break up and he is not happy about the break-up. What is the risk there?
It always comes down to it being our responsibility to educate our kids, so we have to be a step ahead them, which is really hard. My suggestion is always keep an open line of communication with your teen, so that they will keep you informed about what is going on. Get on the Internet and do the research first when your kids are younger, twelve and below, so that you will know what is going on. Even though new issues pop up everyday.
